


Alone Now

by The_Golden_Dice



Series: Simon in Love [4]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-09 21:26:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18925345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Golden_Dice/pseuds/The_Golden_Dice
Summary: Simon and Bram spend a weekend together while Bram’s mom is away. When their time alone comes to an end, they are forced to make a mature decision about the future of their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While their kissing had gotten fairly serious in the past, the current situation was something different.

Packing for a weekend away had always been something Simon enjoyed. He loved imagining what he’d need when he got to his destination - it made him feel excited. This time, his excitement was amplified by the knowledge that the issues he’d been stressing about for the past two weeks were resolved. He had talked everything out properly with Bram the night before. There were no misunderstandings or hard feelings anymore. Instead, the best thing Simon could have hoped for had happened. Hearing the words “I love you” from Bram had been better than he ever thought possible. 

Simon smiled to himself at the memory. He’d probably looked a mess, after getting so worked up about Bram misunderstanding him. It was the first time Bram had seen him cry. He honestly never thought there would be tears involved when he finally declared his love for someone. Any other time he’d have scolded himself for being over dramatic, but to be honest it had felt totally natural. Bram had kissed him and brushed away his tears with delicate fingers. It was so romantic that Simon found himself thinking he could never tell Leah about it even if they both lived to be one hundred, because she’d disown him. 

Bram had kissed and cuddled Simon until he calmed down, then reluctantly he got up to leave. Their kisses had started to border on the intense, and Bram had explained that he really didn’t want Simon doing anything impulsive just because his emotions were running high. Simon thanked his lucky stars for the millionth time that he had a level headed boyfriend who cared so much about him.

~

Simon made his way down the stairs with his overnight bag. He was taking the condoms he’d bought with Nick, and he didn’t feel scared anymore about whether or not he’d be using them. Whatever happened, happened. It was Bram, and everything would be okay. He kissed his mom goodbye and let his dad ruffle his hair. He saw them exchange a look, but he’d given them nothing to be suspicious about, so he didn’t think any more of it. 

When he got to Bram’s, Simon was greeted at the front door with an eager kiss. Bram was wearing his comfy, chilling-out clothes, but he still looked ridiculously hot. His sweatpants sat low on his hips, which jutted out slightly under a plain white t-shirt that could definitely have been baggier. Simon knew what those hips looked like with nothing on them. He found himself blushing at the thought.

Bram didn’t notice Simon’s embarrassment, in fact he seemed super excited about something. He let Simon drop his bag by the door then took one of his hands and led him into the sitting room. Spread out on the coffee table, Simon saw an array of snacks that he could not wait to dive into. There were seven or eight different flavours of Oreos alone.

“Jesus, Bram, are you trying to kill me?” Simon laughed. 

“Absolutely not! I’d be a terrible host if I didn’t provide a feast!” Bram responded, also laughing. He moved swiftly on, suddenly serious. “So, I’ve been thinking. I know I said a while back that I would never, ever, watch Lord of the Rings with someone who hadn’t read the books. But, I’ve changed my mind. I can make an exception for you. Fancy starting Fellowship?” 

Simon felt touched. He knew anything Tolkien related was a pretty big deal to Bram. He’d been meaning to start the books that Bram had lent him weeks back, but just hadn’t had a chance. Also, the thought of settling in with snacks, a movie and his boyfriend was too good to resist, even if the sun was shining and his mom would have definitely told him to get out and enjoy the weather, whatever that meant. 

“That sounds great.” Simon said, with a genuine smile.

~

Around about what Simon guessed must have been the half way point of the movie, he happened to glance at Bram sitting beside him on the couch. To his surprise, Bram was already looking at him. Simon recognised the look on Bram’s face. It was the same one he got when their kissing had been really intense, or that time they had spoken about Simon’s naked picture. Without a word, Bram leaned over into Simon’s space and kissed him. Simon felt the spark of arousal in the bottom of his stomach and opened his mouth to Bram immediately. 

When Bram reached to grasp the back of Simon’s neck and started to lie backwards, pulling Simon down on top of him, Simon felt a familiar tingling in the back of his head that made him feel drunk. His tongue was deep in Bram’s mouth and he could feel Bram panting just as much as he was. He manoeuvred himself so that he was lying between Bram’s legs, and Bram gave a loud moan when their groins rubbed together. 

While their kissing had gotten fairly serious in the past, the current situation was something different. Simon had never lain on top of Bram the way he was, and he couldn’t think of a time he’d been so close to coming while still fully clothed. He broke the kiss to suck in quick breaths and looked into Bram’s hazy eyes. Bram ran his fingers up through Simon’s hair, smiling that small, private smile that only Simon got to see. Feeling brave, Simon worked up the courage to say what he’d been thinking for several minutes. 

“We should go upstairs.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you maybe want me to... help?” It had almost come out as whisper.

Simon followed Bram upstairs, holding the hand that Bram had held out for him as they got up from the couch. Simon was still breathing way faster than normal. He could tell that Bram was too. He’d given a quick thought to his overnight bag as they’d passed it, sitting where he’d left it by the front door. Something stopped him from reaching out to grab it, and as soon as he entered Bram’s bedroom he forgot about it entirely. 

The room looked exactly as it had the night of the Halloween party. Simon decided then and there to push any thoughts of that night right out of his head. He was the one in Bram’s room, not some random girl who’s name had never even come up in conversation. He doubted very much that Bram was thinking about anyone else, given the way he was staring into Simon’s eyes. 

Bram had walked into the room first, absentmindedly releasing Simon’s hand. He had turned around immediately to face Simon, who hovered just past the threshold. Bram reached his hand out towards Simon and pulled him into an embrace. He took a deep, steadying breath and Simon found himself copying it. Then they were kissing again. Simon felt fevered. He couldn’t get enough of Bram’s lips, Bram’s tongue, Bram’s taste. His hands met each other at the back of Bram’s head and grasped firmly, feeling the softness of Bram’s hair. Bram had one hand on Simon’s lower back, the other hand slowly making it’s way further down. 

Bram took Simon by surprise by spinning their bodies on the spot, never breaking the impatient kisses. When Simon’s back was facing the end of the bed, Bram walked him gently backwards until he was forced into a sitting position with Bram leaning over him. It felt amazing to be guided like that. Simon shimmied up the bed and lay down on the fluffy pillows, grasping hungrily at Bram’s t-shirt. Then Bram was holding himself over Simon, his hands bunched in the sheets at each side of Simon’s head. Bram slowly lowered his body to fit between Simon’s bent legs, and Simon took the full weight of Bram’s body on top of him. As soon as Bram’s lips touched his, Simon started to kiss him as if in a frenzy. His lips were sore and his body felt like it was on fire. 

Simon felt his body fall into a rhythm that he never even realised it knew. He was pushing his hips upwards to meet Bram’s, all the while squeezing Bram’s body with his thighs. The pressure in his groin was intense, especially when his hardness happened to brush against Bram’s, who was just as aroused as he was. The fact that he could feel pre-cum on himself drove him even closer to the edge. He had to say something.

“Bram.” Simon literally gasped his boyfriend’s name. Bram, who had frowned slightly when Simon broke their kiss, took a second to come back to himself. 

“What’s wrong?” Bram was suddenly concerned. Simon’s heart gave a squeeze at the fact that Bram was able to turn off intense arousal when he thought something might be the matter.

“Nothing, honestly nothing.” Simon let out a chuckle. How could anything be wrong right now? “I just... I’m so close. I thought I should let you know.” He felt a lot less embarrassed than he thought he would, saying it aloud. Bram lifted himself up on his arms so that he could see Simon’s face properly. He looked as though he was considering something. 

“Do you maybe want me to... help?” It had almost come out as whisper. Simon felt his dick twinge at Bram’s words. Yes, he wanted those hands on him.

“I would like that.” Simon smiled, feeling slightly bashful but also ludicrously excited. Bram leaned in to kiss him again as Simon focused on pushing his jeans and boxers down. As soon as the air hit him, Bram’s hand was there, touching slowly at first, almost experimenting. When Bram’s thumb brushed over the tip of him, an involuntary moan escaped from the back of Simon’s throat. Bram squeezed him firmly and stroked a few times before returning his focus to the slippery head. The attention to that sensitive spot pushed Simon over the edge. He exclaimed into Bram’s mouth as he came all over Bram’s hand. It felt fucking incredible. 

Bram flopped down beside Simon on a pillow, panting hard. He had wiped his hand on a tissue that was sitting on his bedside table, then reached to brush Simon’s cheek. Simon rolled onto his side to kiss Bram, who immediately tangled his hands into Simon’s hair and pulled him closer. Simon started to play with the waistband of Bram’s sweatpants. 

“Now I’ll help you?” Simon asked quietly against Bram’s mouth, still a little out of it. He could feel Bram’s lips pull up in a smile as he placed kisses on them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting undressed was easy. Turning around and showing himself naked to Bram for the first time was not.

Waking up before Bram had its advantages, as Simon was given the chance to observe his sleeping boyfriend for a minute. Bram’s eyes moved rapidly beneath the lids. Simon wondered what he was dreaming about. Bram’s breath was soft and warm when it tickled Simon’s cheek. Simon had woken up in the exact position he was in when he and Bram drifted off together, facing each other. One of Bram’s hands rested close to Simon’s thigh. 

The pleasure they’d given each other had left them both tired. They had fallen into a comfortable, satisfied sleep on top of Bram’s blankets. It hadn’t even seemed necessary to get cleaned up, although thinking about it now Simon wondered if it was a bit gross to have only used tissues after what they’d done.

A breeze drifted in through the open window. Simon felt goosebumps rise up along his exposed arm. The sun must have set while he and Bram slept. 

“Bram.” Simon whispered, touching a fingertip gently to Bram’s nose. Bram stirred and opened his eyes, greeting Simon with a smile.

“Hey, you.” 

Simon felt an ache in his heart. Bram’s voice was soft and gravely from sleep. He looked adorable and child-like, all snuggled up. Simon felt so lucky that he’d gotten to wake up beside him. He asked himself internally what he had ever done to deserve perfect moments like the ones he’d experienced in the previous few hours. Bram stretched and shivered, obviously feeling the cold as well. He sat up and looked out of the window.

“Jeez, we slept for so long. Are you hungry?” Bram smiled questioningly and reached out his hand to pull Simon up off the bed with him. 

“Starving.” Simon replied. He really was. He remembered all the snacks in the sitting room and couldn’t wait to get stuck in. 

~

Simon glanced over at Bram as lines of credits appeared on the tv screen. They’d both stuffed their faces with a variety of junk food while finishing the movie that they interrupted earlier. Bram must have sensed that he was being watched. He faced Simon with a small smile. 

“What did you think?” He was being adorable again, and seemed almost nervous of Simon’s opinion.

“I thought it was great. I’m definitely gonna read the books!” Simon wasn’t lying. He was actually wondering why it had taken him so long to make a start on the movies in the first place. Alice was a big Lord of the Rings nerd, but somehow Simon had managed to miss out on watching any of the movies with her. It dawned on him that he and Nora had always pushed for Harry Potter when it was sibling movie time. He made a mental note to message his big sister and apologise for being so stubborn. 

“I’m glad you liked it. I was gonna suggest we start on the next one but I’m actually feeling kinda tired. That reminds me, I made up the spare bed. I didn’t want to be totally forward and assume you’d be sleeping in my bed with me.” Bram grinned and Simon felt a slight throb below his stomach at the memory of what they’d done in Bram’s bed earlier. He cleared his throat and gave Bram a shy smile. 

“I appreciate that, but I do want to sleep in your bed. If that’s okay?”

“Of course.” Bram had that hazy look in his eyes again. 

~

Simon kissed Bram until his lips were throbbing, but he knew he had to admit defeat when he struggled to stifle a yawn. He rolled back onto his side of the bed and watched as Bram tried to get his breathing under control. 

“As much as I would love to continue this, I’m exhausted.” Simon murmured. 

“Me too.” Bram replied, his voice not quite back to normal. “We always have tomorrow though.” He smiled sleepily. After his breathing had calmed down, Bram got himself into a comfortable position and Simon did the same. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he felt Bram take his hand under the blankets. It was sweet and perfect. 

“Goodnight Bram.” Simon whispered. 

~

Simon woke to birdsong and the sound of someone cutting their grass. He glanced at the beside clock which flashed 09:02 in red numbers. Simon couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen nine o’clock on a Sunday morning. In sleep he’d turned to face away from Bram. Rolling back over, he saw that Bram was already awake, and had propped himself up on his pillows to read.

“Hey.” He greeted Bram, sounding groggy. He really wasn’t great in the morning. Bram turned down the corner of his book and closed it. 

“Hey you.” Bram sounded bright and cheerful. Simon was impressed that anyone could sound like that so early on a weekend morning. Then again, Bram was the sporty type. He’d probably spent most of his childhood and teen years getting up early on weekends for training. Bram leaned over to kiss Simon on the forehead. 

“Your bedhead is incredible.” Bram chuckled, ruffling Simon’s hair. 

“Are you joking? I probably look like a cave person.” Simon laughed. 

“I’m not joking at all! It’s actually kinda sexy...” Bram trailed off, focusing on Simon’s hair. Simon felt the blood rush into his cheeks. He was so not used to being under this kind of scrutiny first thing in the morning. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, so he decided to change the subject. 

“So, uh, what do you want to do today?” He asked. Bram dragged his gaze away from Simon’s hair, considering. 

“We could see what everyone is up to? I’m sure Garrett mentioned something about Waffle House.” Bram said, sounding distracted. It took Simon a couple of seconds to pick up on Bram’s mood. He knew he had two choices. He could focus on the fact that he’d just woken up and probably looked a mess, and pretend that he hadn’t noticed Bram’s arousal. Or, he could accept that he was starting to feel aroused too, and just go with it. He decided on the latter, and bucked up his courage. 

“Sounds good. I’m gonna need a shower. Want to join me?” Simon looked up in time to see Bram’s eyes widen in shock. Simon was also a little shocked at his own bravery. He knew he wanted this though. He wanted to be able to touch the body he’d worshiped in his dreams. Bram gave him a small smile, and nodded. 

Getting undressed was easy. Turning around and showing himself naked to Bram for the first time was not. Simon reminded himself that Bram was going through the exact same thing, albeit with a drastically hotter body. He told himself off for thinking that. Bram found him hot, that’s all that mattered. Slowly, nervously, Simon turned to find that he was facing Bram’s back. He drew in a sharp breath at the sight of Bram’s toned, and very naked, backside. Bram flinched slightly in response and turned around. He looked so worried that Simon instantly crossed the distance between them and wrapped Bram in his arms. Maybe he had it totally wrong, maybe Bram didn’t think of himself as hot at all. 

“Are you okay? We don’t have to do this.” Simon tried to sound reassuring. He felt Bram shake his head slightly. 

“No, I want to. I’m fine. I feel so stupid - I’ve been naked in front of guys in locker rooms before. It just... it means something with you.” Bram sighed and stepped back, making eye contact with Simon. “Sorry, I just freaked out a bit. This is different from yesterday. I don’t have anything to hide behind now.” 

Simon nodded. He understood. When they’d touched each other the day before, they’d kept most of their clothes on. He placed a gentle kiss on Bram’s lips. 

“If it helps, I’m nervous too.” Simon smiled. He was actually glad that this was such a big deal to both of them. Bram returned his smile and took a deep breath. 

“Okay.” Bram said. “Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve realised I’ve missed out the fact that Simon went to sleep for the night in pyjamas. Please assume he changed into them before bedtime!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they got their breathing back under control and started to clean themselves off, Simon couldn’t help but look between Bram’s legs.

It thrilled Simon to watch Bram explore him with those hands of his. He traced one finger down Simon’s chest and raised goosebumps as he went. Despite the hot steam of the shower, Simon shivered. He reached up to hold Bram’s face in his right hand, and wiped away droplets of water from Bram’s cheekbone with his thumb. As Bram’s finger reached the hair at the top of Simon’s groin, he gave an involuntary start. The current touches felt different than the ones yesterday, when both boys had been deep in an almost frenzied arousal. These touches were slow and nervous. 

Bram leaned in to kiss Simon’s lips as he started to stroke him. Simon felt the pounding rush of water as it fell behind his body and sprayed him. Being surrounded by steam and touched by Bram in his most intimate area really was like something from a dream. He imagined they were standing under a waterfall on their own private island. He smiled and opened his mouth to kiss Bram deeper. With his eyes closed, all of his other senses felt heightened. He felt close already, but he really didn’t mind. 

He shivered again and opened his eyes while he took a step backwards out of Bram’s grasp, so that he was standing under the shower head. Hot water poured over him and he had to slick his hair back out of his eyes. 

“Wow.” Bram exhaled. 

Simon blushed intensely. He saw that Bram was looking at him, but not at his body. Instead, Bram was focused on Simon’s wet, pushed-back hair. Simon guessed they both had little fixations with certain parts of each other. Simon was still hard, and he noticed that Bram was too. He reached out and Bram stepped towards him. Simon placed a hand on Bram’s lean but solid chest and trailed downwards through soft, barely-there curls of hair. They fell into a repetition of the actions they’d exercised the day before, albeit in a much calmer manner, slowly bringing each other to a blissful climax. 

As they got their breathing back under control and started to clean themselves off, Simon couldn’t help but look between Bram’s legs. He found himself wondering what Bram would taste like down there. Before he could talk himself out of it, he decided to speak up. 

“Um, do you think... would it be okay if I maybe...” Simon sighed in frustration. He really didn’t know how to vocalise his thoughts. Bram looked at him questioningly. “It doesn’t matter.” Simon turned away and finished getting clean. After a minute he felt Bram come up behind him and place kisses on his shoulder and then his neck. 

“Would it be easier if I stayed here behind you? Pretend I’m not here and you’re talking to yourself.” Bram’s voice was husky. There was no way Simon could imagine he was alone. 

“You’ll have to stop what you’re doing then.” Simon laughed a little, then gasped as he felt Bram’s teeth close down on his skin. The next second, Bram was gone. Simon knew Bram was still in the shower with him, but he’d stepped back as far as he could go without leaving entirely. Okay, Simon thought, it was time to be brave again. 

“I was thinking about... tasting you. You know... down there.” Simon stopped, desperate to turn and gauge Bram’s reaction. He moved swiftly onwards instead. “If you would want me to, of course.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so nervous. The touching had been great, and had felt like a natural progression. Blowjobs were a whole other level. Simon realised he had better make sure that Bram didn’t feel under pressure to reciprocate. He wanted to see Bram’s face, so he turned around. Bram was looking at him, wide-eyed. 

“I wouldn’t expect you to do it back to me.” It came out in a rush. Simon sensed that he had maybe jumbled his words a little. It was much more difficult to discuss this face to face, but he felt he owed it to Bram, who was still looking at Simon, a slight frown creasing his forehead. 

“Are you sure you want to? I mean, I think I’d like to try it out, but are you definitely ready?” Bram’s concern was touching. He smiled shyly at Simon. “I would want to do it back.” 

Relief washed over Simon. He was so glad that Bram had taken his suggestion well. He’d had a brief, crazy image of Bram sending him away for being too perverted. Of course, blowjobs weren’t perverse in the slightest, but Simon’s nerves had gotten the better of him and his mind had painted a picture of a scandalised Bram. Simon smiled to himself. He really needed to get his inner drama queen in check. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” 

~

Simon lay between Bram’s legs. Already he could tell that there was a difference between the scent of Bram’s intimate skin, and the skin that covered the rest of his body. It was good though, and strangely a little intoxicating. They had both remained naked after they dried off, and returned to Bram’s bedroom. Five minutes of intense kissing had made them both hard again. Bram had lain back on the pillows looking nervous and excited as Simon moved down the length of his body, kissing here and there as he went. Porn had proved itself to be a great inspiration for that particular idea, and Bram had seemed to like it, especially when Simon’s kisses turned into tiny little bites.

Simon quickly pushed away his nerves and took Bram in one hand. He stroked Bram slowly, then stuck out his tongue to lick the tip. Bram inhaled sharply through his teeth, and Simon immediately stopped. 

“Sensitive.” Bram whispered, looking into Simon’s eyes. 

Simon nodded at him, then began to lick again. He avoided the very top and focused on the length instead. When Bram was wet, Simon eased his mouth down around him. He parted his lips until he felt a stretch. He couldn’t fit Bram all the way in, but it didn’t seem to matter as Bram was letting out soft moans. Simon decided to suck in as he withdrew. When only the tip of Bram was in his mouth, Simon flicked his tongue across it. 

“Oh shit.” Bram exclaimed. 

He bucked his hips ever so slightly, and Simon felt a twinge. It was such a turn on to see Bram lose control under him. He repeated his previous movements, picking up speed and adding strokes with his hand. Bram’s breath got steadily faster until suddenly he propped himself up on his elbows and met Simon’s eyes again. 

“I’m close Simon.” He gasped. 

Nodding once more, Simon picked up his pace. His jaw hurt a bit but he didn’t care, he wanted to make Bram come. The next second Bram moaned loudly and Simon felt his mouth fill with liquid. It kept coming and Simon found that he had to swallow. The taste was slightly bitter, but not unpleasant. Finally Simon felt ready to let Bram slip out of his mouth, although he was reluctant for everything to come to an end. He’d really enjoyed the whole process, especially the noises Bram had made. 

Climbing up the bed to lie beside Bram, Simon was greeted with a kiss on the forehead. 

“Thank you so much.” Bram was still a little breathless. 

“You’re welcome.” Simon whispered into Bram’s neck, where he had snuggled up as close as he could to his boyfriend. “I love you.” 

“I love you too Simon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that book Bram’s mom had a rule about condoms and oral, but I’m choosing to ignore that because neither Bram nor Simon have participated in any kind of sexual activity before and they both know this about each other.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon almost wished he had no sense of right and wrong. After several minutes, he lifted his head up from where he’d buried it in Bram’s neck. He pulled back so that he could look into Bram’s eyes. He knew that Bram wouldn’t have made the suggestion if he hadn’t thought it through properly.

Simon was floating. He’d just had the most intense orgasm of his, admittedly limited, overall sexual experience. He could still feel Bram’s mouth on him, even though it was gone. He wanted to fall asleep, but Bram kept him from drifting away by rubbing small circles in the hair of his stomach. Simon didn’t even care that he was fully naked, laid bare before his boyfriend. He thought that Bram felt much more comfortable than earlier as well, since he’d made no move to put any clothes on. They’d definitely have to get cleaned up again before they thought about clothes anyway.

Simon opened his eyes to see Bram watching him. He grinned, and felt his happiness shift up to a level that he very rarely experienced. He was almost giddy. Everything that had happened with Bram over the past twenty four hours had been amazing. Bram laughed loudly at Simon’s huge smile, happily sharing in his joy. It felt so perfect to just be together. After a few more minutes of lazy cuddling, Bram made a move to get up and make himself presentable. Simon reluctantly followed suit. 

~

Bram grasped Simon’s hand as they walked into Waffle House. Simon glanced at Bram, pleased to see that he seemed confident and happy. It was unusual for them to be acting like a couple in public. Ever since the night of the carnival, Bram had been fairly shy about public displays of affection - even though most of the kids they came into contact with at school or at their usual hangouts knew that they were together. 

Garrett, sat alone at a table, looked up from his menu and smiled at the sight of Bram and Simon’s interlocked fingers. 

“Guys! I have not coped with you being off the grid. I honestly never thought I’d miss your lame asses so much.” Garrett was laughing but Simon could tell he meant what he’d said.

It had already occurred to both he and Bram that they’d pretty much ignored their phones since Simon arrived at Bram’s house the day before. When they talked about it, they both agreed that they’d actually really enjoyed the switch-off from the outside world. Bram laughed along with Garrett and clasped his hand, shaking his head slightly. 

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again man.” Bram smiled at Simon as they both sat down at the table. A hint of Bram’s old shyness had crept back in as he spoke, and Garrett had picked up on it.

“Okay, okay. I see what’s happening here.” Garrett said, playing at being offended. “Let me guess, you guys have had an amazing weekend and I’m being officially ditched as the BFF?” Garrett laughed again, then grinned at both Simon and Bram. “No but seriously, I’m super happy for you guys.” 

“Thanks man.” Bram smiled. “Oh and, don’t be dumb, you’ll always be the BFF.” 

“Speaking of...” Simon said, as Leah approached them with a wave. 

“Oh my god.” Leah had started talking before she even sat down. “Did you guys see creeksecrets this morning?” 

Simon zoned out as Leah filled Garrett and Bram in on the latest school scandal. He felt perfectly happy to be hanging out with his friends and boyfriend. It was nice, and normal. When Abby and Nick turned up, they happily joined in the chatter and everyone ordered food. Nobody mentioned the fact that Simon had spent the night at Bram’s. Simon sensed that Abby wanted to ask him about it, but she obviously decided that it wasn’t the best time. 

After they parted ways with their friends, Simon and Bram headed back to Bram’s house. Simon had felt his mood drop drastically as everyone said their goodbyes. He knew it was down to the fact that he would be leaving Bram in a matter of hours. He seriously did not want their perfect weekend to come to an end. Going home also meant having to face his parents. He was going to have to lie to them, to keep up the story that he’d been staying at Abby’s to work on a project. Until now he’d managed to lock it all up at the back of his mind, but the weight of his lie was starting to push forward into his consciousness. 

“Hey, what’s going on in that head?” Bram had obviously noticed the change in Simon’s mood. He sounded concerned. Simon exhaled slowly. 

“I have to go home. I don’t want to.” Simon grasped Bram’s hand and squeezed it tightly. It felt like every emotion he’d felt over the weekend had suddenly piled up on his chest all at once. It was overwhelming. He hated that his eyes had started to water. 

“I don’t want you to either.” Bram sounded as sad as Simon was. Simon felt a little stupid that he hadn’t anticipated this. He’d only been thinking about the positives before now. 

“I wouldn’t change this weekend for anything. At the same time, I hate that I have to hide it from my parents.” Simon sniffed. 

“Do you really think they’d freak out if you told them? Not that I relish the idea of my mom finding out, but if you felt that you needed to tell them I’d support your decision.” Bram said quietly, focusing on the road in front of him. 

“No. No Bram, I won’t land you in it like that. And yeah, they would freak out... I think. I can’t really explain why I know that. I just don’t see it going over well.” Simon remained silent, not knowing what else to say. Rain had started to fall, and Simon watched as it streaked down the car window. 

He snapped out of his reverie when Bram turned into the driveway and shut down the car engine. Bram undid his seatbelt and turned to face Simon. He looked serious. 

“Would it help if, from now on, we agree to only hang out when they know about it and stick to their rules?” He hesitated before continuing, his voice soft. “I know it’ll mean cooling off the intimate stuff, but I’m okay with that if it helps you to feel more comfortable. I really don’t want you lying to your mom and dad if it does this to you, and I don’t enjoy hiding the truth either.” Bram looked so earnest that Simon wanted to pull him into a massive hug. 

Releasing the clasp on his seatbelt, Simon leaned into Bram’s arms. Bram’s hands found their way to the back of Simon’s neck and began to brush his skin gently, comforting him. It was a lot to think about. On one hand the thought of no more lies was such a relief. On the other, going back to chaste kisses and innocent homework dates felt excruciating. Simon almost wished he had no sense of right and wrong. After several minutes, he lifted his head up from where he’d buried it in Bram’s neck. He pulled back so that he could look into Bram’s eyes. He knew that Bram wouldn’t have made the suggestion if he hadn’t thought it through properly. 

“I think it would help. Thank you so much Bram. I really don’t want to put a stop to what we’ve shared this weekend, but... I think it’s the right thing to do.” Simon let out a shaky breath. He felt slightly better now that a decision had been made. The rain was getting heavier and the car windows had steamed up. “Should we go inside? We have time for one more movie before your mom gets back, right?” 

“Yeah, we do.” Bram smiled and kissed Simon’s forehead.


End file.
